Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Chatterbox
Starting around two months, Nikolai started cooing. Now he "talks" so
much, I love it! In the morning when he first wakes up, I hear him on
the monitor chatting to himself, or maybe to the elephants on his
mobile, and I go to his room and as soon as I turn the light on he
squeals with joy and mumbles non stop like this:
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tickle Torture
N has just started laughing recently. The first time was when he was on
the changing table and V and I were having a somewhat intense argument. I
guess to break the tension, N decided it was the perfect time to start
cracking up! What a little angel...it worked!
Here's a little tickling to brighten up your day.
Here's a little tickling to brighten up your day.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
He's sleeping through the night. Who cares if "night" means 6 to midnight?
 |
| He's actually 6.5 weeks today, but I obvi don't have time to keep up with this blog... |
Do you know what this means? It's like I won Olympic gold. It's the point that every new parent strives for. Forget sitting up, rolling over, their first teeth, first word, walking. Forget it all. It's SLEEP that matters. It's the pinnacle of parenting success.
It happened totally naturally though, so I can't take credit. The only thing I did was put him to bed earlier. So instead of 9pm, I put him down a 6pm and he sleeps until midnight, and then is up again at 3 am to suck on a boobie, then again at 6 am ready to start the day. This may sound like a lot but it really means I'm only up ONCE the whole night!
Except this morning I pushed his sleep to 7 am with a pacifier and then what WHAT? He slept from 8 am to noon!! And basically all day long with short 30 minute wake periods between naps just to take in some boob fuel and smile a little bit to make mommy happy and confirm he is alive and healthy. I actually went into his room at one point and held my hand just an inch above his sleeping body to make sure it was still warm. It's like he popped an ambien and is on a flight from Thailand back to the States after pulling a raging all nighter at the hotel in Bangkok. Trust, I know what that feels like (minus the "raging" portion).
I also changed up his daytime sleep situation a few days ago because he kept waking from naps really early -- after 45 minutes -- which apparently is the length of a baby sleep cycle. He's always slept well and predictably at night in 2.5-3 hour stretches, up to eat, and back down easily. At night we have him in the Uppababy Vista bassinet in our room. For daytime naps, we had been putting him in his crib in his room, a room without windows. So for the last few days, I have put his bassinet inside his crib in his room and it seems to be making a big difference.
Whenever we have a boss day like this, I get really excited thinking we have a new schedule and pattern starting, but that is not the case. The reality of it is that I will probably be fighting a seriously un-sleepy baby tomorrow. But why dwell on a future that hasn't happened yet? Today, I am super mom doing everything right with an ambien angelbaby who never fusses or cries.
And to celebrate, I'm having a half glass of wine (first in 10 months!) since angelbaby won't be up for another 4 hours or so. BLISS.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Nikolai's Birth Story
On Tuesday, March 13th, at 40 weeks plus 2 days, I woke up at 4:30 am with a slight cramping feeling. I got up and went to the bathroom and found that my underwear was wet and tinged with pink blood and I figured my water had finally broken. Everyone says it's just a trickle and rarely a gush like you see in movies, and that seemed to be what was happening. So I put on a pad, texted my doula Kim that today was probably the day, and went back to bed.
At 7:30 am I woke up again, went to the bathroom, changed pads and tried to go back to sleep but my cramps were getting stronger and I started to get really excited that this was it! So I started up the contraction app on my iphone and started timing the cramps. They were all over the place. 10 minutes apart, then 20, then 5, then 8...etc. This went on for the next several hours. The whole time, they were very manageable - like period cramps - except I don't normally have period cramps so I wasn't sure how intense they were supposed to be. I kept texting my doula to let her know they were getting closer together, and we chatted a few times. She kept saying that my demeanor indicated that I wasn't ready to go to the hospital yet. But I could swear these contractions were hurting more and more!
I decided I needed to eat, so I ate a few small pears, sweet potatoes, and Samoa Girl Scout cookies. I barely had an appetite though, so it was hard to get it down. I laid in bed during most of the day with Monty by my side keeping me company. V was in and out to check on me while doing last minute stuff like packing a hospital bag for himself and installing the car seat.
Finally around 4:30 pm, my contractions were 5 minutes apart lasting about a minute, which is when they tell you to head to the hospital. I called Kim and told her we were going to head out because we didn't want to hit rush hour traffic, and she agreed that was a good idea and would meet us there, although she did say my demeanor was still not urgent enough and we may be jumping the gun.
The car ride wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I turned on my hypnobirthing recording on my iphone, put in my headphones, and tuned out the world. We got to the hospital around 5:15 pm and checked in. They were so efficient, I was taken to my L&D room within 10-15 minutes, got cozy and met my midwife Lisa, who would be delivering the baby. Lisa was the only midwife in the practice that I hadn't met, so I had been a little nervous, but she was great.
They put two monitors on me: one to monitor contractions, the other to monitor the fetal heartbeat. After a few minutes and establishing that contractions were now 1-2 minutes apart, and heartbeat was stable, Lisa decided to checked my dilation, and told me - to my shock and horror - I hadn't dilated at all...I could not believe it!! For the past few weeks, I had been walking around at just shy of 3 cm, 80-90% effaced, and after a whole day of contractions, no progress!? I was seriously gutted. Then she told me my water had not broken, or if it had, it was my hind waters and not the main one. So, she gave me the option of continuing to labor as I had been, or having her break my water to speed the process up a bit. I felt bad for coming to the hospital too early and "crying wolf" so I told her to break it. OMG. It was a warm gush - a waterfall! And it just kept pouring out. Such a weird feeling. Immediately after she broke my water, the contractions got more intense. She checked me again, and said I was now at 3 cm so she could properly strip my membranes. Once she did that, I got to 4 cm and was left to keep laboring.
At this point, the pain was pretty intense. It was probably around 6:30 pm by this point, and Kim told me I should try to eat something because I probably wouldn't be able to later (or want to). I agreed so V went to grab some food for us. When he got back, I was suddenly totally nauseated by the smell of it, I turned it away and contractions got even more intense. An hour or so later, Lisa came back in to check me and I hadn't progressed from 4 cm at all! After all that pain! WTF.
I had a tub in my room but they don't recommend getting in until you hit 5 cm otherwise it could slow labor down, so I was just waiting and waiting to hit 5 cm -- with contractions coming 1 to 2 minutes apart this whole time. The pain was super intense. Like a steam roller crushing me from the back. Seriously, now I understand the saying "labor is back breaking work" - it fucking kills your back. Totally. I don't even remember any pain being in my uterus at this point - it was ALL in my back and radiated throughout my entire torso. I didn't even have the strength to try to turn on my hypnobirthing recording. I just kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe deeply, chanting to myself over and over again in my head, "open, open, open. breathe, breathe, breathe, relax, relax, relax."
They suggested I get into the shower, so I crawled over there with V's help, while gobs of blood and slimy clots dropped to the floor out of me. I kept apologizing for them, even though I knew no one cared, but it just felt wrong to be making such a mess! We got to the bathroom and I sat on the shower floor while V aimed the shower head at my back. I was crouched over on my hands and knees and was so uncomfortable being on that hard, gross tile and Kim and V kept trying to do things that would help make it more comfortable, like put a towel on the floor under my knees, and tried to reposition me, but every movement at this point was excrutiating. I felt like a huge blob of pure pain. Every few minutes V would give me ice chips or a sip of Vitamin Water. I didn't even have the cognizance at this point to know what I wanted so whenever he would ask if I wanted it, I'd just whine and say, "I don't knooooooow." So he'd put it in my mouth and say I had to have it to stay hydrated. I think we were in there for about an hour when I finally felt like I wanted to get out and go back to the bed.
Lisa came back in and checked me again and I was finally at 5 cm! I'm not sure what time it was but I'm guessing roughly 8 or 9 pm. They put me back on the monitors while Kim and the nurse filled the tub. By the way, the monitors suck. It's just a band and a metal thing that goes around your belly, but for some reason, it's really painful to have that extra pressure against your body when you're in labor. But the good thing was being able to see that baby's heart rate and see that it was stable throughout all of this. It also reinforced that my contractions were just as horrible as I was feeling them to be. Everytime I saw a spike on the monitor, I'd think to myself, "Yes, indeed. That did feel like hell!"
Finally the tub got filled, and Kim put up a string of Christmas lights that made the room all sparkly and serene. I got in and for maybe 5 minutes I felt a tiny bit of relief. But while I was in there, the contractions just got stronger and stronger so over the next couple hours, I laid in there butt ass nekkid with my head against the side, eyes closed, moaning and groaning and trying to breathe through each contraction, which I felt were basically back to back at this point. I was feeling very little relief in between.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I had several cameras on me at all times throughout labor. But I honestly barely even noticed. I just kept going deep inside my mind and body trying so hard to pass through the pain instead of fighting against it but it was so hard! At this point I remember moaning really loudly and I kept saying "OWWWWW!" and clenching up my entire body and Kim kept reminding me to keep my tone low as that helps open you up but I kept going higher pitched. While I was in the tub I felt these crazy urges to push where my whole body would just kind of convulse with the contraction, but I wasn't fully dilated yet.
When I got out of the tub, Lisa checked me again and I was at 8 cm. She stripped the membranes again, I think. At this point I was begging for the epidural saying I couldn't do it anymore. Kim said that's a good sign, that I'm transitioning and soon I'd be able to push. But I found out after I got out that the involuntary pushing had made my canal swell, and I also had a really full bladder. So they told me to go to the toilet and try to pee. I stayed on the toilet for about a half hour, maybe more, and for the life of me could not pee to save my life! I had eaten so many ice chips and almost an entire big bottle of Vitamin Water, and I just could not get anything to come out. I was contracting like a mofo on the toilet and just kept crying out in pain. The amazing part is that I couldn't actually cry tears. It was just moaning and yelling and whining.
I came out and they put me back on the monitors again and Lisa checked and saw that I was 9.5 cm with just a lip of cervix that needed to move behind the head so she did something with her fingers that forced it around the head. Finally, FINALLY around 2 or 3 am, I was 10 cm and I could finally start pushing!
I got into position on the bed, with the monitors on me, and they noticed that contractions had actually stalled to 8 minutes apart. I don't believe this because I felt pain the entire time...I think maybe the monitor just slid off or something. Anyway, V had one leg, Kim had the other, and at the next contraction I was told to push like I was pooping. But at that point, I had a huge shock of pain shoot down from my right butt cheek through my right leg and the whole right side of the body convulsed. The baby had his head on my sciatic nerve and I needed to push him down through it. At the next contraction I tried again and I just couldn't push past it. It was hindering my ability to push him down effectively...as was my extremely full bladder. After several tries, I was utterly exhausted. Everyone was. I just kept saying that I needed to sleep.
Lisa actually recommended at this point that I get the epidural, sleep a few hours, and then they'd start some pitocin to get my contractions going again since they'd virtually stopped at that point. I didn't need to be convinced. I was like EPIDURAL? YES PLEASE!! I think by this point I had even asked for a c-section several times. I was so ready for the pain to end no matter what the cost. When the anesthesiologist came in, I could almost hear angels singing from the heavens above. A lot of people say the epidural hurts. I say to them, get outta town! Compared to 20-some hours of contractions, it's a freaking cake walk. In less than 5 minutes it was in and started to work its magic and I passed out.
A few hours later, around 8 am, apparently they had already started the pitocin but I couldn't feel a damn thing! Couldn't feel my legs at all, one less than the other since I had been sleeping on my side and it moves with gravity. Lisa came in after having rested, V was sleeping on a chair beside me and Kim was asleep in the back of the room. It was time to push again.
They set up a stand up mirror so that I could see what was happening to my vag, which was extremely helpful since I couldn't feel anything. They used the contraction monitor to know when to tell me to push and as soon as I started pushing, Lisa said "You're a great pusher!" I couldn't see or feel anything happening so I felt like she was lying to make me feel better, but apparently the baby was moving down. After a few more pushes, I finally saw his head bulge through a tiny bit and Lisa told me to reach down and feel the head. It was slimy and warm, and totally surreal! I knew I'd meet him soon and was really excited! I couldn't believe it was finally going to happen! During each push after that, she used olive oil to stretch the skin around his head, and I was trying not to push too hard because I didn't want to tear, but I had no concept of what was too hard or too little at this point.
At 8:50 am on Wednesday, March 14th, at 40 weeks plus 3 days, Nikolai was born. They pulled him from me and put him on my chest, and I bawled. I looked over at V who was filming with his iPhone, and said something like, "He's finally here!!" A few rubs in and we heard his first cry. It was beautiful.
I still couldn't feel much of what was happening down there, but Lisa told me to push one more time to deliver the placenta, and then she examined the situation below and said I tore just a teeny bit on the inside. She put 4 stitches in and showed me the placenta which was a deep red, and very healthy looking and rich. She said I have great anatomy - she couldn't believe I didn't tear more with such a big first baby (8 lb, 3 oz; 21 inches); I have a nice wide pelvis; and good nipples for breastfeeding.
Well ok then. That's cool. Hehe.
A few minutes later, I tried breastfeeding and N took to it like a champ. He latched immediately and I just sat there with him in my arms and stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe I grew this perfect human inside my body. That he started out with just one little sperm and one little egg and became this amazing, alive being. And he was so strong! Throughout the whole ordeal, I don't remember his heart rate dipping down. He never gave us a scare and I was able to avoid my most feared last resort: c-section.
So even though I wasn't able to have the truly natural childbirth I originally wanted, I feel totally blessed that I was able to deliver him vaginally, and that I pretty much did go through the whole labor without drugs. I thought I'd be disappointed, but when I see that N is a healthy, thriving baby, I really have no regrets.
Today, almost a month later:
- I still have numbness in my right foot and calf from sciatic nerve damage. The doctors say it should get back to normal over the next few months, but there are times when it doesn't, so that kind of sucks. Kim told me to see a chiropractor - that maybe an adjustment would realign everything so that if there is still something lying on that nerve, it might fix it.
-I'm still bleeding. This is annoying, I would like it to stop please. It's basically like having a period for a month.
-I'm 4 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.
-N flipped from his stomach to his back at his 2 week pediatric appointment. I thought it was a fluke, but he's done it two more times! Seriously, we have a strong one.
-Starting day 1, N has had a good amount of neck control, turning his head from side to side even in the hospital.
-When we have him slug across our shoulder and he wants to lay down, he throws his entire body backward to let us know.
-He weighs about 10 and a half lbs already and has grown out of newborn clothes and newborn diapers.
I'm excited to see what else is in store for us over the next few weeks! I hope his latest phase of eating every hour and being a fussy non-sleeper ends soon so we can skip to the smiles and coos!
At 7:30 am I woke up again, went to the bathroom, changed pads and tried to go back to sleep but my cramps were getting stronger and I started to get really excited that this was it! So I started up the contraction app on my iphone and started timing the cramps. They were all over the place. 10 minutes apart, then 20, then 5, then 8...etc. This went on for the next several hours. The whole time, they were very manageable - like period cramps - except I don't normally have period cramps so I wasn't sure how intense they were supposed to be. I kept texting my doula to let her know they were getting closer together, and we chatted a few times. She kept saying that my demeanor indicated that I wasn't ready to go to the hospital yet. But I could swear these contractions were hurting more and more!
I decided I needed to eat, so I ate a few small pears, sweet potatoes, and Samoa Girl Scout cookies. I barely had an appetite though, so it was hard to get it down. I laid in bed during most of the day with Monty by my side keeping me company. V was in and out to check on me while doing last minute stuff like packing a hospital bag for himself and installing the car seat.
Finally around 4:30 pm, my contractions were 5 minutes apart lasting about a minute, which is when they tell you to head to the hospital. I called Kim and told her we were going to head out because we didn't want to hit rush hour traffic, and she agreed that was a good idea and would meet us there, although she did say my demeanor was still not urgent enough and we may be jumping the gun.
The car ride wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I turned on my hypnobirthing recording on my iphone, put in my headphones, and tuned out the world. We got to the hospital around 5:15 pm and checked in. They were so efficient, I was taken to my L&D room within 10-15 minutes, got cozy and met my midwife Lisa, who would be delivering the baby. Lisa was the only midwife in the practice that I hadn't met, so I had been a little nervous, but she was great.
They put two monitors on me: one to monitor contractions, the other to monitor the fetal heartbeat. After a few minutes and establishing that contractions were now 1-2 minutes apart, and heartbeat was stable, Lisa decided to checked my dilation, and told me - to my shock and horror - I hadn't dilated at all...I could not believe it!! For the past few weeks, I had been walking around at just shy of 3 cm, 80-90% effaced, and after a whole day of contractions, no progress!? I was seriously gutted. Then she told me my water had not broken, or if it had, it was my hind waters and not the main one. So, she gave me the option of continuing to labor as I had been, or having her break my water to speed the process up a bit. I felt bad for coming to the hospital too early and "crying wolf" so I told her to break it. OMG. It was a warm gush - a waterfall! And it just kept pouring out. Such a weird feeling. Immediately after she broke my water, the contractions got more intense. She checked me again, and said I was now at 3 cm so she could properly strip my membranes. Once she did that, I got to 4 cm and was left to keep laboring.
At this point, the pain was pretty intense. It was probably around 6:30 pm by this point, and Kim told me I should try to eat something because I probably wouldn't be able to later (or want to). I agreed so V went to grab some food for us. When he got back, I was suddenly totally nauseated by the smell of it, I turned it away and contractions got even more intense. An hour or so later, Lisa came back in to check me and I hadn't progressed from 4 cm at all! After all that pain! WTF.
I had a tub in my room but they don't recommend getting in until you hit 5 cm otherwise it could slow labor down, so I was just waiting and waiting to hit 5 cm -- with contractions coming 1 to 2 minutes apart this whole time. The pain was super intense. Like a steam roller crushing me from the back. Seriously, now I understand the saying "labor is back breaking work" - it fucking kills your back. Totally. I don't even remember any pain being in my uterus at this point - it was ALL in my back and radiated throughout my entire torso. I didn't even have the strength to try to turn on my hypnobirthing recording. I just kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe deeply, chanting to myself over and over again in my head, "open, open, open. breathe, breathe, breathe, relax, relax, relax."
They suggested I get into the shower, so I crawled over there with V's help, while gobs of blood and slimy clots dropped to the floor out of me. I kept apologizing for them, even though I knew no one cared, but it just felt wrong to be making such a mess! We got to the bathroom and I sat on the shower floor while V aimed the shower head at my back. I was crouched over on my hands and knees and was so uncomfortable being on that hard, gross tile and Kim and V kept trying to do things that would help make it more comfortable, like put a towel on the floor under my knees, and tried to reposition me, but every movement at this point was excrutiating. I felt like a huge blob of pure pain. Every few minutes V would give me ice chips or a sip of Vitamin Water. I didn't even have the cognizance at this point to know what I wanted so whenever he would ask if I wanted it, I'd just whine and say, "I don't knooooooow." So he'd put it in my mouth and say I had to have it to stay hydrated. I think we were in there for about an hour when I finally felt like I wanted to get out and go back to the bed.
Lisa came back in and checked me again and I was finally at 5 cm! I'm not sure what time it was but I'm guessing roughly 8 or 9 pm. They put me back on the monitors while Kim and the nurse filled the tub. By the way, the monitors suck. It's just a band and a metal thing that goes around your belly, but for some reason, it's really painful to have that extra pressure against your body when you're in labor. But the good thing was being able to see that baby's heart rate and see that it was stable throughout all of this. It also reinforced that my contractions were just as horrible as I was feeling them to be. Everytime I saw a spike on the monitor, I'd think to myself, "Yes, indeed. That did feel like hell!"
Finally the tub got filled, and Kim put up a string of Christmas lights that made the room all sparkly and serene. I got in and for maybe 5 minutes I felt a tiny bit of relief. But while I was in there, the contractions just got stronger and stronger so over the next couple hours, I laid in there butt ass nekkid with my head against the side, eyes closed, moaning and groaning and trying to breathe through each contraction, which I felt were basically back to back at this point. I was feeling very little relief in between.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I had several cameras on me at all times throughout labor. But I honestly barely even noticed. I just kept going deep inside my mind and body trying so hard to pass through the pain instead of fighting against it but it was so hard! At this point I remember moaning really loudly and I kept saying "OWWWWW!" and clenching up my entire body and Kim kept reminding me to keep my tone low as that helps open you up but I kept going higher pitched. While I was in the tub I felt these crazy urges to push where my whole body would just kind of convulse with the contraction, but I wasn't fully dilated yet.
When I got out of the tub, Lisa checked me again and I was at 8 cm. She stripped the membranes again, I think. At this point I was begging for the epidural saying I couldn't do it anymore. Kim said that's a good sign, that I'm transitioning and soon I'd be able to push. But I found out after I got out that the involuntary pushing had made my canal swell, and I also had a really full bladder. So they told me to go to the toilet and try to pee. I stayed on the toilet for about a half hour, maybe more, and for the life of me could not pee to save my life! I had eaten so many ice chips and almost an entire big bottle of Vitamin Water, and I just could not get anything to come out. I was contracting like a mofo on the toilet and just kept crying out in pain. The amazing part is that I couldn't actually cry tears. It was just moaning and yelling and whining.
I came out and they put me back on the monitors again and Lisa checked and saw that I was 9.5 cm with just a lip of cervix that needed to move behind the head so she did something with her fingers that forced it around the head. Finally, FINALLY around 2 or 3 am, I was 10 cm and I could finally start pushing!
I got into position on the bed, with the monitors on me, and they noticed that contractions had actually stalled to 8 minutes apart. I don't believe this because I felt pain the entire time...I think maybe the monitor just slid off or something. Anyway, V had one leg, Kim had the other, and at the next contraction I was told to push like I was pooping. But at that point, I had a huge shock of pain shoot down from my right butt cheek through my right leg and the whole right side of the body convulsed. The baby had his head on my sciatic nerve and I needed to push him down through it. At the next contraction I tried again and I just couldn't push past it. It was hindering my ability to push him down effectively...as was my extremely full bladder. After several tries, I was utterly exhausted. Everyone was. I just kept saying that I needed to sleep.
Lisa actually recommended at this point that I get the epidural, sleep a few hours, and then they'd start some pitocin to get my contractions going again since they'd virtually stopped at that point. I didn't need to be convinced. I was like EPIDURAL? YES PLEASE!! I think by this point I had even asked for a c-section several times. I was so ready for the pain to end no matter what the cost. When the anesthesiologist came in, I could almost hear angels singing from the heavens above. A lot of people say the epidural hurts. I say to them, get outta town! Compared to 20-some hours of contractions, it's a freaking cake walk. In less than 5 minutes it was in and started to work its magic and I passed out.
A few hours later, around 8 am, apparently they had already started the pitocin but I couldn't feel a damn thing! Couldn't feel my legs at all, one less than the other since I had been sleeping on my side and it moves with gravity. Lisa came in after having rested, V was sleeping on a chair beside me and Kim was asleep in the back of the room. It was time to push again.
They set up a stand up mirror so that I could see what was happening to my vag, which was extremely helpful since I couldn't feel anything. They used the contraction monitor to know when to tell me to push and as soon as I started pushing, Lisa said "You're a great pusher!" I couldn't see or feel anything happening so I felt like she was lying to make me feel better, but apparently the baby was moving down. After a few more pushes, I finally saw his head bulge through a tiny bit and Lisa told me to reach down and feel the head. It was slimy and warm, and totally surreal! I knew I'd meet him soon and was really excited! I couldn't believe it was finally going to happen! During each push after that, she used olive oil to stretch the skin around his head, and I was trying not to push too hard because I didn't want to tear, but I had no concept of what was too hard or too little at this point.
At 8:50 am on Wednesday, March 14th, at 40 weeks plus 3 days, Nikolai was born. They pulled him from me and put him on my chest, and I bawled. I looked over at V who was filming with his iPhone, and said something like, "He's finally here!!" A few rubs in and we heard his first cry. It was beautiful.
I still couldn't feel much of what was happening down there, but Lisa told me to push one more time to deliver the placenta, and then she examined the situation below and said I tore just a teeny bit on the inside. She put 4 stitches in and showed me the placenta which was a deep red, and very healthy looking and rich. She said I have great anatomy - she couldn't believe I didn't tear more with such a big first baby (8 lb, 3 oz; 21 inches); I have a nice wide pelvis; and good nipples for breastfeeding.
Well ok then. That's cool. Hehe.
A few minutes later, I tried breastfeeding and N took to it like a champ. He latched immediately and I just sat there with him in my arms and stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe I grew this perfect human inside my body. That he started out with just one little sperm and one little egg and became this amazing, alive being. And he was so strong! Throughout the whole ordeal, I don't remember his heart rate dipping down. He never gave us a scare and I was able to avoid my most feared last resort: c-section.
So even though I wasn't able to have the truly natural childbirth I originally wanted, I feel totally blessed that I was able to deliver him vaginally, and that I pretty much did go through the whole labor without drugs. I thought I'd be disappointed, but when I see that N is a healthy, thriving baby, I really have no regrets.
Today, almost a month later:
- I still have numbness in my right foot and calf from sciatic nerve damage. The doctors say it should get back to normal over the next few months, but there are times when it doesn't, so that kind of sucks. Kim told me to see a chiropractor - that maybe an adjustment would realign everything so that if there is still something lying on that nerve, it might fix it.
-I'm still bleeding. This is annoying, I would like it to stop please. It's basically like having a period for a month.
-I'm 4 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.
-N flipped from his stomach to his back at his 2 week pediatric appointment. I thought it was a fluke, but he's done it two more times! Seriously, we have a strong one.
-Starting day 1, N has had a good amount of neck control, turning his head from side to side even in the hospital.
-When we have him slug across our shoulder and he wants to lay down, he throws his entire body backward to let us know.
-He weighs about 10 and a half lbs already and has grown out of newborn clothes and newborn diapers.
I'm excited to see what else is in store for us over the next few weeks! I hope his latest phase of eating every hour and being a fussy non-sleeper ends soon so we can skip to the smiles and coos!
Friday, March 23, 2012
9 Days Postpartum
I'm pretty amazed by how the body works. I don't know if it's all the miyukgook (seaweed soup) I've been eating forced to eat, or if it's all the sweating, sitting in a hot house with no ventilation. I certainly haven't exercised - I'm not even allowed to leave the house for another week or two except to go to the pediatrician.
I'm now 7 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been eating like a banshee! Tons of red meat too since I'm anemic.
Here's a fun little comparison pic.
Oh, and one more very important thing to document. These babies:
I have never experienced having this body ratio before. I now know why women with breasts like to show off their cleavage. They are empowering! I want to name them! I want to smoosh my face in them!
And so does V, but they're actually not the kind of "funbags" we'd like them to be. They're hard and they hurt when touched so it's hands off for him. Poor guy.
Whatever, cry me a river. I pushed an 8 lb baby out of my hoo-ha.
I'm now 7 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been eating like a banshee! Tons of red meat too since I'm anemic.
Here's a fun little comparison pic.
Oh, and one more very important thing to document. These babies:
And so does V, but they're actually not the kind of "funbags" we'd like them to be. They're hard and they hurt when touched so it's hands off for him. Poor guy.
Whatever, cry me a river. I pushed an 8 lb baby out of my hoo-ha.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The First Week
Nikolai is one week old today.
Wowzers.
First of all, this post is going to be all over the place. It's impossible to categorize and organize these thoughts so I'm just going to write...and not think. Stream of consciousness...
The first week of motherhood has been an amazing, terrifying, joyous, terrible, heartbreaking, fulfilling, emotional, numb, confusing, overwhelming, love-filled experience. Never in such a short period of time have I felt such a breadth of emotions.
The 48 hours in the hospital after birth were great. Visitors came and went, nurses came in to check on me and Nikolai every couple hours. There was a baby nurse and a mommy nurse. They'd take our temp, and my blood pressure and take blood samples and check my butt (for hemorrhoids, which amazingly enough, I don't have). Oddly enough, it felt safe just knowing there were doctors everywhere -- just in case.
We'd send Nikolai to the nursery for a few hours during the night so we could get some sleep, and they'd wheel him in after 4 hours, when he started to get hungry. I had a strict no formula, no water policy because the plan was to exclusively breastfeed for at least his first couple months of life. I was running on so many hormones and adrenaline, I barely even felt tired. V, on the other hand, was utterly exhausted, and he didn't have a nice comfy bed to sleep on like I did, but he refused to sleep at home.
All of our meals were taken care of. Even if we didn't eat hospital food, my parents would come and bring us rice and banchan and miyukgook.
The first night home was a whole different story. The stubborn person that I am, I didn't even have back-up formula on hand thinking that my colostrum would be enough to fill my little guy's tummy. But all he did the first night was cry and cry, with dry cracked lips, and a hoarse husky little voice because he was SO hungry and thirsty. The pediatrician had sent us home with a few bottles of glucose water because she noticed he was a little dry before we were discharged from the hospital. She said to give him just a few teaspoons after each feeding to make sure he stayed hydrated. The second I put the little spoon to his lips he'd stop crying, open his eyes SO wide, and start sucking for dear life. It was like a switch had been flipped inside him. It was almost robotic!
After about 8 hours of constant crying, I finally caved and made V go to the store and pick up formula. I could not stand any longer seeing my little one starve, and as soon as we fed it to him, he fell asleep, finally content. And so did we.
During these hours of crying, I kept thinking to myself, "What did I get myself into? I'm not going to be able to do this. He's a colicky baby, definitely not one of those easy children. I can't do this." It was devastating. V was beyond annoyed and kept asking if all babies are like this, and not knowing better I said yes. And he just couldn't get over how annoying it was.
Luckily, each day since then has been better and better, and I've actually been getting enough sleep at night. Nikolai seems to be a day sleeper, which is a bit problematic because it's a lot harder to put him down at night, but ever since my milk has come in, he's been a generally content baby. He only cries when there's actually something wrong -- a wet or poopy diaper, hunger, needing to burp. That's all.
A couple days ago, we took him to his first pediatrician appointment, and everything checked out fine.
When he was born, he was 8 lbs, 3 oz. His discharge weight was 7 lb, 8 oz. And at our appointment, he was already on the up and up at 7 lb, 13 oz. Whew! What a weight lifted.
Speaking of weight, I've already lost 20 of the 30 lbs I gained during pregnancy. So for anyone who's worried about that -- don't! It literally melts off.
The one thing you really worry about is whether they're eating enough (oh, and at night, whether or not they're breathing). But food is the one thing you can control. With breastfeeding, however, you never know how much they're really getting. So what I've figured out is that when he takes naps that are less than 2 hours, he didn't get enough to eat and I need to pump more while he sleeps to stimulate production during those hours. We give him a bottle of formula at night, and that extends his sleep time to about 4 hours. These 4 hours are crucial to existing the next day.
I've been anemic with low blood pressure since I've been home from the hospital. My second day home, I had a fever and my entire body ached. I thought it was post-labor trauma, but I finally took my temperature and realized I was achy because of the fever. For two days, I had a slight ringing in my ears, which made the baby's cries sound like cell phone rings. Very strange.
Finally, today, I feel just about 100%. I'm still bleeding a lot down there, but that's supposed to be normal. It's just annoying to deal with. It's like, for 10 months you don't have a period, and to make up for it, your body bleeds for an entire month after birth. Can't wait for that to be over!
It is terrifying to think that I am solely responsible for my son's life. That from now, for the rest of my life, I will have him to think about. To care for. To love. To keep from harm. From the grandest, most profound thought - the concept of motherhood - to the smallest, most trivial - like how I will manage to go grocery shopping with him in tow - it's all equally terrifying. But for now, the sweet smell of my baby's head keeps me from having a full on anxiety attack. There must be something to that. It is truly calming.
I've been in mostly good spirits since I've been home -- even with the first night of sleep deprivation. The only thing that's set me off emotionally, ironically enough, is my own mother, who's here to help, but has managed to be a double edged sword. It's not too surprising, I guess, but I am glad to know it's not being a mother that gets me down. Who knows, I may have a whole new set of hormones kick in this week or next and I could be bawling everyday.
For now, I am content looking at this little face.
Wowzers.
First of all, this post is going to be all over the place. It's impossible to categorize and organize these thoughts so I'm just going to write...and not think. Stream of consciousness...
The first week of motherhood has been an amazing, terrifying, joyous, terrible, heartbreaking, fulfilling, emotional, numb, confusing, overwhelming, love-filled experience. Never in such a short period of time have I felt such a breadth of emotions.
The 48 hours in the hospital after birth were great. Visitors came and went, nurses came in to check on me and Nikolai every couple hours. There was a baby nurse and a mommy nurse. They'd take our temp, and my blood pressure and take blood samples and check my butt (for hemorrhoids, which amazingly enough, I don't have). Oddly enough, it felt safe just knowing there were doctors everywhere -- just in case.
We'd send Nikolai to the nursery for a few hours during the night so we could get some sleep, and they'd wheel him in after 4 hours, when he started to get hungry. I had a strict no formula, no water policy because the plan was to exclusively breastfeed for at least his first couple months of life. I was running on so many hormones and adrenaline, I barely even felt tired. V, on the other hand, was utterly exhausted, and he didn't have a nice comfy bed to sleep on like I did, but he refused to sleep at home.
All of our meals were taken care of. Even if we didn't eat hospital food, my parents would come and bring us rice and banchan and miyukgook.
The first night home was a whole different story. The stubborn person that I am, I didn't even have back-up formula on hand thinking that my colostrum would be enough to fill my little guy's tummy. But all he did the first night was cry and cry, with dry cracked lips, and a hoarse husky little voice because he was SO hungry and thirsty. The pediatrician had sent us home with a few bottles of glucose water because she noticed he was a little dry before we were discharged from the hospital. She said to give him just a few teaspoons after each feeding to make sure he stayed hydrated. The second I put the little spoon to his lips he'd stop crying, open his eyes SO wide, and start sucking for dear life. It was like a switch had been flipped inside him. It was almost robotic!
After about 8 hours of constant crying, I finally caved and made V go to the store and pick up formula. I could not stand any longer seeing my little one starve, and as soon as we fed it to him, he fell asleep, finally content. And so did we.
During these hours of crying, I kept thinking to myself, "What did I get myself into? I'm not going to be able to do this. He's a colicky baby, definitely not one of those easy children. I can't do this." It was devastating. V was beyond annoyed and kept asking if all babies are like this, and not knowing better I said yes. And he just couldn't get over how annoying it was.
Luckily, each day since then has been better and better, and I've actually been getting enough sleep at night. Nikolai seems to be a day sleeper, which is a bit problematic because it's a lot harder to put him down at night, but ever since my milk has come in, he's been a generally content baby. He only cries when there's actually something wrong -- a wet or poopy diaper, hunger, needing to burp. That's all.
A couple days ago, we took him to his first pediatrician appointment, and everything checked out fine.
When he was born, he was 8 lbs, 3 oz. His discharge weight was 7 lb, 8 oz. And at our appointment, he was already on the up and up at 7 lb, 13 oz. Whew! What a weight lifted.
Speaking of weight, I've already lost 20 of the 30 lbs I gained during pregnancy. So for anyone who's worried about that -- don't! It literally melts off.
The one thing you really worry about is whether they're eating enough (oh, and at night, whether or not they're breathing). But food is the one thing you can control. With breastfeeding, however, you never know how much they're really getting. So what I've figured out is that when he takes naps that are less than 2 hours, he didn't get enough to eat and I need to pump more while he sleeps to stimulate production during those hours. We give him a bottle of formula at night, and that extends his sleep time to about 4 hours. These 4 hours are crucial to existing the next day.
I've been anemic with low blood pressure since I've been home from the hospital. My second day home, I had a fever and my entire body ached. I thought it was post-labor trauma, but I finally took my temperature and realized I was achy because of the fever. For two days, I had a slight ringing in my ears, which made the baby's cries sound like cell phone rings. Very strange.
Finally, today, I feel just about 100%. I'm still bleeding a lot down there, but that's supposed to be normal. It's just annoying to deal with. It's like, for 10 months you don't have a period, and to make up for it, your body bleeds for an entire month after birth. Can't wait for that to be over!
It is terrifying to think that I am solely responsible for my son's life. That from now, for the rest of my life, I will have him to think about. To care for. To love. To keep from harm. From the grandest, most profound thought - the concept of motherhood - to the smallest, most trivial - like how I will manage to go grocery shopping with him in tow - it's all equally terrifying. But for now, the sweet smell of my baby's head keeps me from having a full on anxiety attack. There must be something to that. It is truly calming.
I've been in mostly good spirits since I've been home -- even with the first night of sleep deprivation. The only thing that's set me off emotionally, ironically enough, is my own mother, who's here to help, but has managed to be a double edged sword. It's not too surprising, I guess, but I am glad to know it's not being a mother that gets me down. Who knows, I may have a whole new set of hormones kick in this week or next and I could be bawling everyday.
For now, I am content looking at this little face.
 |
| Brand new, just a couple hours old |
 |
| First car ride |
 |
| Nikolai and his daddy |
 |
| First pediatrician appointment |
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Texting with my MIL
Today she texted me to ask how I was, and this is how it went. She's pretty funny. :-)
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Full moon
I just noticed there's a full moon tonight.
I'm grasping for straws, but I hope it triggers something.
C'mon gravity!!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I Never...
have been more ready for anything in my entire life.
I don't know why I convinced myself throughout this pregnancy that I would go early, but I did. BIG MISTAKE. I guess it's because my sister went a week early with her first, and my mom says she went a couple weeks early with my sister.
But I'm 5 days from my due date, all physical (internal) signs point to "go" but nothing is happening!
And historically, I have never been very good at prep. I usually just wing everything, and most of the time it works out. I've always been pretty lucky, which is a blessing because I really do have piss poor planning and preparing skills. The exception to this is childbirth: I have prepared my mind, body and soul and I am READY. SET. GO. I've never wanted so much to feel pain. Bring it on! I want to scream it from the mountaintops like a crazed masochist on methamphetamine beating my chest like a gorilla.
Speaking of gorillas. I just started watching Jersey Shore, and as much as I want, I can NOT look away from the trainwreck! I can physically feel my braincells burning out - poof! - but it's so entertaining. Anyway...
In preparation for this baby, I've cleaned the house -- mainly the floors, over and over again. I don't know what it is with me and floors lately, but I just notice them more and more. On Sunday, I got down on my hands and knees and went over them old school style, like my mom, the cleanfreak, does. I was hoping that position would help induce labor. It didn't.
And everything else is prepped and ready to go:
The baby's room is set up. All his clothes and sheets and blankets have been washed.
I'm all waxed and groomed: arms, X-men wolverine chops (blame the testosterone!), hoo hoo, 'stache, brows.
My toes are pedicured -- because obviously this is really important in the grand scheme of having a baby.
My hospital bag and labor bags are packed.
Now that I think about it, the only things that aren't prepared are the things that are under V's jurisdiction: the babyseat installation and, well, V. He isn't prepared for anything because he doesn't know what to expect and won't read the one damn book that's supposed to help him be a good labor coach. Can you hear the annoyance in my words?
Oh well. This is why I have prepared a doula!
See? I've prepped everything!!! And look where it's gotten me. Big, fat, and nowhere. This is why I usually adopt a go-with-the-flow attitude. Because you can't control anything in life. And being in a state of waiting is probably one of the worst - er, most annoying - places in which to spend one's time. Imagine that, plus being almost 10 months pregnant.
Now make your appearance Tyrone! Your mom and dad are waiting for you!
I don't know why I convinced myself throughout this pregnancy that I would go early, but I did. BIG MISTAKE. I guess it's because my sister went a week early with her first, and my mom says she went a couple weeks early with my sister.
But I'm 5 days from my due date, all physical (internal) signs point to "go" but nothing is happening!
And historically, I have never been very good at prep. I usually just wing everything, and most of the time it works out. I've always been pretty lucky, which is a blessing because I really do have piss poor planning and preparing skills. The exception to this is childbirth: I have prepared my mind, body and soul and I am READY. SET. GO. I've never wanted so much to feel pain. Bring it on! I want to scream it from the mountaintops like a crazed masochist on methamphetamine beating my chest like a gorilla.
Speaking of gorillas. I just started watching Jersey Shore, and as much as I want, I can NOT look away from the trainwreck! I can physically feel my braincells burning out - poof! - but it's so entertaining. Anyway...
In preparation for this baby, I've cleaned the house -- mainly the floors, over and over again. I don't know what it is with me and floors lately, but I just notice them more and more. On Sunday, I got down on my hands and knees and went over them old school style, like my mom, the cleanfreak, does. I was hoping that position would help induce labor. It didn't.
And everything else is prepped and ready to go:
The baby's room is set up. All his clothes and sheets and blankets have been washed.
I'm all waxed and groomed: arms, X-men wolverine chops (blame the testosterone!), hoo hoo, 'stache, brows.
My toes are pedicured -- because obviously this is really important in the grand scheme of having a baby.
My hospital bag and labor bags are packed.
Now that I think about it, the only things that aren't prepared are the things that are under V's jurisdiction: the babyseat installation and, well, V. He isn't prepared for anything because he doesn't know what to expect and won't read the one damn book that's supposed to help him be a good labor coach. Can you hear the annoyance in my words?
Oh well. This is why I have prepared a doula!
See? I've prepped everything!!! And look where it's gotten me. Big, fat, and nowhere. This is why I usually adopt a go-with-the-flow attitude. Because you can't control anything in life. And being in a state of waiting is probably one of the worst - er, most annoying - places in which to spend one's time. Imagine that, plus being almost 10 months pregnant.
Now make your appearance Tyrone! Your mom and dad are waiting for you!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Project: Induction
Has commenced in full! Natural induction methods, of course.
Spicy food, check.
Pineapple, check.
Raspberry leaf tea, check.
Eggplant parmesan, check.
Evening primrose oil, check.
Sex with hubby, check. (Ok, half check.)
Sex with myself, check. (Ok, double check.)
Bouncing on a birthball, check.
Nipple stimulation, check.
Praying, check.
Have I missed anything? I'm heading out in a few minutes to grab a passion fruit tea.
And, I just finished eating a nice, spicy Thai drunkman noodle dish, and Tyrone is going wild inside my uterus, this cozy home that I have decided must be lined with sheepskin, or maybe 1000 threadcount egyptian cotton sheets and a down comforter. If I could make his home a little less habitable, I would.
But since I can't, what's going down tomorrow morning at my midwife appointment is a sweep of the membranes (fun! not.) and hopefully that'll kick-start this process. Wish us luck!
Spicy food, check.
Pineapple, check.
Raspberry leaf tea, check.
Eggplant parmesan, check.
Evening primrose oil, check.
Sex with hubby, check. (Ok, half check.)
Sex with myself, check. (Ok, double check.)
Bouncing on a birthball, check.
Nipple stimulation, check.
Praying, check.
Have I missed anything? I'm heading out in a few minutes to grab a passion fruit tea.
And, I just finished eating a nice, spicy Thai drunkman noodle dish, and Tyrone is going wild inside my uterus, this cozy home that I have decided must be lined with sheepskin, or maybe 1000 threadcount egyptian cotton sheets and a down comforter. If I could make his home a little less habitable, I would.
But since I can't, what's going down tomorrow morning at my midwife appointment is a sweep of the membranes (fun! not.) and hopefully that'll kick-start this process. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Symptom spotting...like a mofo!
UGH. I am 38 weeks and 3 days today. I think I had my bloody show this morning. If you don't know what that is, I'm not gonna 'splain it because it's grody. You can google it.
But then while I was blow drying my hair, I also felt this tiny trickle on my thigh and thought it was a drop of water from my hair that happened to land right there, but then when I wiped it off, I noticed it was pinkish.
So then I thought my water was breaking, but that it would come out in trickles the way it does when the baby is blocking the bag and only your hindwaters break. So I waited at home for a half hour longer than usual to monitor and nothing else really happened. No more trickles. Only the same mild contractions I've been having on and off for the past few days anyway.
So who freakin' knows.
Today is Leap Day. February 29, 2012. I think it might be kinda cool to have a leap birthday, but also maybe a little sad. I don't know. I would find it special, nonetheless, so if it happened today, I would be cool with that.
Anyway, my mom's been working on this quilt for months, and I finally received it in the mail yesterday. We picked out fabric together and I told her I wanted a monkey and an elephant. How AWESOME is this?! The outer edge looks black and white in the picture, but it's really gray and white. It matches the room really well, and I think Tyrone's gonna love it forever since it's from his halmuni. :-)
Note to my girlfriends: Momma Hwang has offered to make quilts for your future babies if you'd welcome them, so keep that in mind!
**EDIT: TMI update, just went to the bathroom and there is more bloody show. progress? i hope so!
But then while I was blow drying my hair, I also felt this tiny trickle on my thigh and thought it was a drop of water from my hair that happened to land right there, but then when I wiped it off, I noticed it was pinkish.
So then I thought my water was breaking, but that it would come out in trickles the way it does when the baby is blocking the bag and only your hindwaters break. So I waited at home for a half hour longer than usual to monitor and nothing else really happened. No more trickles. Only the same mild contractions I've been having on and off for the past few days anyway.
So who freakin' knows.
Today is Leap Day. February 29, 2012. I think it might be kinda cool to have a leap birthday, but also maybe a little sad. I don't know. I would find it special, nonetheless, so if it happened today, I would be cool with that.
Anyway, my mom's been working on this quilt for months, and I finally received it in the mail yesterday. We picked out fabric together and I told her I wanted a monkey and an elephant. How AWESOME is this?! The outer edge looks black and white in the picture, but it's really gray and white. It matches the room really well, and I think Tyrone's gonna love it forever since it's from his halmuni. :-)
**EDIT: TMI update, just went to the bathroom and there is more bloody show. progress? i hope so!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
The Baby Room
It's finally done! Well...for the most part. I still have to hang a mobile (once it arrives), and organize just a bit more, but whatever. I've done all I can for now. Here are a few pics!
 |
| Tyrone has already accumulated seven pairs of shoes. He takes after his mommy. |
Friday, February 24, 2012
Making progress
I had a midwife appointment this morning, and while she was giving me an internal, she goes, "Oh my! Holy moly, wow..."
I was like - WHAT?!!
She says, "Your cervix is very, very thin, and you're dilated around 2-3 cm now. So whatever you've been doing, keep doing it."
YAY!! I think it's really close, guys...really close. She told me there's a straight shot right to the head and she was feeling the baby's head as she was checking me.
The only sucky thing is that she confirmed he is sunny side up which is supposed to make labor horrendous and concentrated in your back. Apparently, it's much more painful this way. BUT, I'm staying positive as there are no absolutes in labor. Who knows, maybe Tyrone will just slip right out and I'll barely even realize it.
One can hope!
In the meantime, I've watched two very helpful DVDs about calming newborns and how newborns communicate. I very much recommend them:
-The Happiest Baby on the Block
-Dunstan Baby Language
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Cravings for crap food
I have no idea what's come over me today. After several weeks of decreased appetite, today I've really outdone myself and it's only 4:30 pm.
Breakfast: McDonalds! This is the second time I've had McD's breakfast in a decade and the first was during first trimester. Sausage Egg McMuffin (no cheese - blech, I HATE American cheese), hashbrown, OJ.
Lunch: Panera Thai Chicken Salad and half a bag of potato chips. Ok that's not that bad, but I wasn't even that hungry.
Snack: Just polished off a packet of M&Ms. Last time I had crappy kid-candy was during Halloween.
What is going on with me? I would like to think that my newfound interest in shitty food is a sign of early labor. Hah. Riiiiight.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Bump Watch - 37 weeks
Jeez, I am so humungous. Although it's strange, you can't see much of a difference in these pictures, but apparently the bump did grow 4.5 cm from 34 to 37 weeks so it's definitely bigger. I'm also getting many more comments lately about how I look ready to pop or how I must be due soon. Honestly, my back is breaking. This part of pregnancy is pretty shitty.
V and I went to dinner on Friday night and as we were putting our coats on getting ready to leave, the maitre'd looks at my belly and goes, "Soon we're gonna have to get a bigger table!"
I know, SO RUDE. But I wasn't offended because he was so tiny and cute and old and had an Italian accent. Really old school.
After dinner, we went to this party at an Irish pub in midtown to celebrate the screening of one of his short films, and we played a game of pool. I must have looked so ridiculous. A bowling ball balancing on the edge of the pool table, cue behind me, trying to be smooth and accurate with my shooting. Riiiight.
Anyway, these pictures make it look like it's gotten higher, not lower though... eh, who knows!?
I thought I might be in labor this morning. For the past few days, I've been feeling period-like cramps and braxton hicks at the same time, on and off. And during the night last night I could feel tons of braxton hicks, and then this morning, I had the menstrual cramping thing with a super tight belly for like, maybe 2 minutes. All I could think was CRAP! But Vitaly's leaving for Florida today!
Anyway, they stopped, and now I'm just sitting at work trying to drink lots of water and not walk around more than I need to.
So, the days I can NOT have a baby:
-February 21-23
-March 1-4
-March 12
Otherwise, I'm good to go!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
My pelvis is good! - 37 weeks
Full Term!!!
I've had only one reservation about childbirth, and that is the fear of c-section because I don't have what you call "birthing hips."
Seriously. My body from the front is so funny looking right now. They say your hips spread when you're pregnant, but mine dont look like they have at all. I literally just look like I stuffed a ball under my shirt and my hips are narrower than said ball so it's a little wonky.
But at my 37 week check up yesterday, my midwife did a pelvic and internal exam and the first thing she said was, "You have a good pelvis."
I was so shocked, and pleasantly surprised! She assured me that I shouldn't have any issues delivering vaginally - at least not due to a narrow pelvis. This is THE best news I could have gotten. But it gets even better!
I'm dilated 1-2 cm. Baby's head is engaged at -1 to 0 station so he's gotten in position. And my cervix is effaced 50%, meaning it's softened and thinned out about halfway.
We are well on our way!
Also, I was a little concerned at my last appointment that I was measuring kind of small, but my bump grew 4.5 cm in the last 3 weeks, so it's all good. :-)
The ridiculous part is that after an incredibly slow Jan and Feb, V all of a sudden has a bunch of gigs lined up - and we really need them. So hopefully Tyrone won't decide to make his appearance this week bc V will likely be in FL. Yikes!
Hang in there lil one!
I've had only one reservation about childbirth, and that is the fear of c-section because I don't have what you call "birthing hips."
Seriously. My body from the front is so funny looking right now. They say your hips spread when you're pregnant, but mine dont look like they have at all. I literally just look like I stuffed a ball under my shirt and my hips are narrower than said ball so it's a little wonky.
But at my 37 week check up yesterday, my midwife did a pelvic and internal exam and the first thing she said was, "You have a good pelvis."
I was so shocked, and pleasantly surprised! She assured me that I shouldn't have any issues delivering vaginally - at least not due to a narrow pelvis. This is THE best news I could have gotten. But it gets even better!
I'm dilated 1-2 cm. Baby's head is engaged at -1 to 0 station so he's gotten in position. And my cervix is effaced 50%, meaning it's softened and thinned out about halfway.
We are well on our way!
Also, I was a little concerned at my last appointment that I was measuring kind of small, but my bump grew 4.5 cm in the last 3 weeks, so it's all good. :-)
The ridiculous part is that after an incredibly slow Jan and Feb, V all of a sudden has a bunch of gigs lined up - and we really need them. So hopefully Tyrone won't decide to make his appearance this week bc V will likely be in FL. Yikes!
Hang in there lil one!
Monday, February 13, 2012
36 weeks - 9 months
For those of you who aren't counting, I'm officially 9 months pregnant! Counting is all I do these days.
We got the crib up over the weekend and it really hit me that there will be an actual baby sleeping there - maybe even within the next 2 weeks (if I'm lucky). It became very, very real. But I didn't bug out, like I thought I would. I just kind of stared at it and it made me really excited!
But I also realized that I've been reading so much on pregnancy and childbirth, I haven't actually read anything about having a real, live newborn to take care of. Is it all intuitive? Will I know know what to do by instinct? I know I'm supposed to feed him every 2-3 hours, and change him when he's wet or poopy, and burp him after he eats, but beyond that, what am I supposed to know?
My mom and dad are going to try to come and stay with us for a few weeks after the baby is born, and I was kind of annoyed by that before because it's going to be a FULL house in a wee little house, but now I'm really glad. I think I'm going to want my mommy.
Late third trimester is every annoyance it's cracked up to be. Starting around 34 weeks all the discomfort started kicking in along with the daily feeling that I am so.over.this. Sciatica, back pain, loose joints. However, if it weren't for this chronic cough, I'd still be sleeping ok, so at least I can still hold on to that for now.
Whatever, I'm fed up.
In the words of my husband, "Give me my baby already!"
We got the crib up over the weekend and it really hit me that there will be an actual baby sleeping there - maybe even within the next 2 weeks (if I'm lucky). It became very, very real. But I didn't bug out, like I thought I would. I just kind of stared at it and it made me really excited!
But I also realized that I've been reading so much on pregnancy and childbirth, I haven't actually read anything about having a real, live newborn to take care of. Is it all intuitive? Will I know know what to do by instinct? I know I'm supposed to feed him every 2-3 hours, and change him when he's wet or poopy, and burp him after he eats, but beyond that, what am I supposed to know?
My mom and dad are going to try to come and stay with us for a few weeks after the baby is born, and I was kind of annoyed by that before because it's going to be a FULL house in a wee little house, but now I'm really glad. I think I'm going to want my mommy.
Late third trimester is every annoyance it's cracked up to be. Starting around 34 weeks all the discomfort started kicking in along with the daily feeling that I am so.over.this. Sciatica, back pain, loose joints. However, if it weren't for this chronic cough, I'd still be sleeping ok, so at least I can still hold on to that for now.
Whatever, I'm fed up.
In the words of my husband, "Give me my baby already!"
Sunday, February 12, 2012
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Home remedies.
I have mashed potatoes on my chest as I write this. I'm not joking.
And of course, Monty's sitting on top of me because he wants to eat the potatoes.
I stayed home from work today after my 6th consecutive night of getting no sleep due to this horrendous cough. So V brought in reinforcements: my old school Russian father-in-law.
I now have hot mashed potatoes on my chest, vaporub on my feet, wrapped in cotton with large socks, and I just finished a cup of garlic honey tea. These remedies are pretty tame compared to what would be happening if I weren't pregnant.
He actually came over to do some ancient chinese cupping thing on my back and to put these weird mustard compresses on my chest but he's been advised not to do that on pregnant women.
This morning I also had a couple cups of warm milk, baking soda and honey.
To be honest, it all seems to be working. My cough broke long enough to get two hours of sleep.
It's pretty amazing, and it's nice being pampered by V. He's been a great nurse :-)
And of course, Monty's sitting on top of me because he wants to eat the potatoes.
I stayed home from work today after my 6th consecutive night of getting no sleep due to this horrendous cough. So V brought in reinforcements: my old school Russian father-in-law.
I now have hot mashed potatoes on my chest, vaporub on my feet, wrapped in cotton with large socks, and I just finished a cup of garlic honey tea. These remedies are pretty tame compared to what would be happening if I weren't pregnant.
He actually came over to do some ancient chinese cupping thing on my back and to put these weird mustard compresses on my chest but he's been advised not to do that on pregnant women.
This morning I also had a couple cups of warm milk, baking soda and honey.
To be honest, it all seems to be working. My cough broke long enough to get two hours of sleep.
It's pretty amazing, and it's nice being pampered by V. He's been a great nurse :-)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Taking misery up a notch
If my calculations are correct, I haven't been sick in about 7 years. So I guess I had this coming for some time. Lord have mercy!
About a month ago, for two weeks, I had a pretty standard cold. Sinus congestion, a bit of cough, blah. But it went away. All of a sudden last Wednesday, the cough came back and with a vengeance! I am SO miserable.
I've avoided all drugs, even Tylenol, throughout this pregnancy, but I'm so desperate I've been taking Robitussin AND Sudafed (all Dr. sanctioned), and even went to see my GP who prescribed a Z-Pak. I was going to wait to take it in the hopes that this might be viral, and not bacterial, and would go away by itself, but last night in a fit of coughing at 1 o'clock in the morning, I grabbed it and downed the first two little pills. So now, I'm on antibiotics as well.
The worst part about it all is that a few days ago, I coughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my outstretched belly. So now every cough comes with sharp abdominal pain too.
WHEEEE! Pregnancy is so fun!
A moment of the glass being half full to round out this bitch fest: Freaking out that all this coughing might be hurting my little womb resident, I did a quick google search and actually read that it may be preparing little Tyrone for labor contractions, so when they actually do start, he won't experience quite as much fetal distress since he'll be used to all the spasms and tightenings. I hope this is true...in which case, Thank You Jesus. There really is a reason for everything!
About a month ago, for two weeks, I had a pretty standard cold. Sinus congestion, a bit of cough, blah. But it went away. All of a sudden last Wednesday, the cough came back and with a vengeance! I am SO miserable.
I've avoided all drugs, even Tylenol, throughout this pregnancy, but I'm so desperate I've been taking Robitussin AND Sudafed (all Dr. sanctioned), and even went to see my GP who prescribed a Z-Pak. I was going to wait to take it in the hopes that this might be viral, and not bacterial, and would go away by itself, but last night in a fit of coughing at 1 o'clock in the morning, I grabbed it and downed the first two little pills. So now, I'm on antibiotics as well.
The worst part about it all is that a few days ago, I coughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my outstretched belly. So now every cough comes with sharp abdominal pain too.
WHEEEE! Pregnancy is so fun!
A moment of the glass being half full to round out this bitch fest: Freaking out that all this coughing might be hurting my little womb resident, I did a quick google search and actually read that it may be preparing little Tyrone for labor contractions, so when they actually do start, he won't experience quite as much fetal distress since he'll be used to all the spasms and tightenings. I hope this is true...in which case, Thank You Jesus. There really is a reason for everything!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Tumbleweeds roll through my valley
For the first time in my life, I have cleavage. This is pretty awesome, except that the bump throws my whole body ratio off. I'll be looking forward to when the milk comes in and the bump shrinks back down and I have a waist again.
In the meantime, I have noticed that I keep finding little crumbs of food wedged between my camisole and torso. Or sometimes, between my bra and ta-tas.
Is this what all women with real boobs have been dealing with? Or am I just a clumsy mess?
The upside is that I ever get hungry on the subway, chances are I can just reach down into my shirt and collect a little snack. I'll never starve!
In the meantime, I have noticed that I keep finding little crumbs of food wedged between my camisole and torso. Or sometimes, between my bra and ta-tas.
Is this what all women with real boobs have been dealing with? Or am I just a clumsy mess?
The upside is that I ever get hungry on the subway, chances are I can just reach down into my shirt and collect a little snack. I'll never starve!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Bump Watch - 34 weeks
Whoa. Ok guys, I remember thinking at 28 weeks I couldn't get much bigger because everything felt tight then. Understatement of the year! I was so very, very wrong. I'm posting 28 through 34 so you can see the difference. It's crazypants.
To think that I might still have 6 to 8 weeks left kind of makes me want to cry, so I just keep focusing on the fact that I might only have 3 weeks and that makes it all better. I'm drinking Raspberry Leaf tea (to tone the uterus) once every couple days and taking Evening Primrose Oil (to soften the cervix) daily now to get the process kick started. And hopefully this little guy won't make me wait too long to meet him.
There's one thing I was really hoping I'd start doing right around now: perineal massage, to lessen my chances of tearing, but I can't bring myself to do it. You basically have to sit there and massage your lady parts and tug and pull a little bit, sticking your thumbs in your hoo ha. I'm not squeamish or anything, and I'm definitely not shy, but I honestly can't see what's going on down there, and I can't reach that far -- even with my unusually long monkey arms!
And my stuff down there is pretty monstrous already and I haven't even given birth yet, so I really don't think V is gonna want to help out with this particular task, and I don't want to ask him either! How would I know this when I can't see what's happening dowtown? Well, let's put on our thinking caps. This is the super fun part about being pregnant. From what I can gather, camel toe is on another level entirely. There is constant wetness, it always feels like I either peed my pants or my water has broken a little. Some of those times, I actually did pee my pants, so it's not that far off to assume. So basically, the junk is always unfresh!
Also, speaking of pee, I swear it's stankier than normal too. Like I ALWAYS have aspara-pee, even if I didn't eat asparagus.
In summary, I'm ready for Tyrone to make his entrance...ready to have my body back and end this stanky, puffy madness!
There's one thing I was really hoping I'd start doing right around now: perineal massage, to lessen my chances of tearing, but I can't bring myself to do it. You basically have to sit there and massage your lady parts and tug and pull a little bit, sticking your thumbs in your hoo ha. I'm not squeamish or anything, and I'm definitely not shy, but I honestly can't see what's going on down there, and I can't reach that far -- even with my unusually long monkey arms!
And my stuff down there is pretty monstrous already and I haven't even given birth yet, so I really don't think V is gonna want to help out with this particular task, and I don't want to ask him either! How would I know this when I can't see what's happening dowtown? Well, let's put on our thinking caps. This is the super fun part about being pregnant. From what I can gather, camel toe is on another level entirely. There is constant wetness, it always feels like I either peed my pants or my water has broken a little. Some of those times, I actually did pee my pants, so it's not that far off to assume. So basically, the junk is always unfresh!
Also, speaking of pee, I swear it's stankier than normal too. Like I ALWAYS have aspara-pee, even if I didn't eat asparagus.
In summary, I'm ready for Tyrone to make his entrance...ready to have my body back and end this stanky, puffy madness!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Best Baby Shower Ever!
Huge props and thanks to my big sis who is a total rockstar party planner!
My baby shower was a couple days ago, and it was so lovely and everything was perfect. I mean, look at that amazing cake!
We filled the Church Lounge at the Tribeca Grand Hotel with 25 chit chatting ladies, cooing and ahhing over all the adorable baby clothes, socks, shoes for little feet.
The food was amazing - I only wish I had less mingling to do so I could concentrate on my french toast, perfectly butter-crisped on the outside, and soft and chewy on the inside, with a side of bacon, of course.
And I felt so incredibly blessed to have such an awesome group of women who will surround my baby with all the love in the world, teaching him how to be a good man as he gets older. Yes indeed!
Now to the fun stuff: PICS!
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Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Basement - Before and After
These pics kinda suck, but here they are! Basement before and after shots. The new room is nothing to write home about (even though I'm kinda writing home about it), but the important part is that all of V's STUFF is in the basement and not taking up precious living space. If I had the choice, there would be a little couch down there for guests and clients, and a big ass monitor for when he's color correcting images with a director looking on from behind. But it turns out, he's just got way too much crap and there's just no space for aesthetics.
Here are my boys writing me an email.
And finally, the furbaby Monty resting his head on the bump. But don't be fooled, he's only doing this because I was eating an apple and he wanted some. He's a master manipulator!
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| BEFORE AFTER |
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| BEFORE AFTER |
Here are my boys writing me an email.
And finally, the furbaby Monty resting his head on the bump. But don't be fooled, he's only doing this because I was eating an apple and he wanted some. He's a master manipulator!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
It's a miracle...
V's basement office is finished!
I gotta hand it to him. He works well under pressure, that's for sure.
For the past three weeks, my father-in-law would come over in the afternoon with his huge German Shepherd, Sheeba. And while Monty and Sheeba played (annoyed each other), V and his father would toil away: painting, spackling, tiling, drilling. In the meantime, I'd get home from work around 7pm, put on my dutiful housewife hat (steps: remove bra, rings, throw on extra large t-shirt stolen from hubs, gigantic pajama pants, put hair in ponytail), feed the dogs and cook the men awesome dinners consisting of giant slabs of meat, a potato of some sort, a veggie and salad if I was feeling ambitious. They'd eat around 8:30pm and then head right back down to keep working.
It was like Little House on the Prairie, Jersey City for a few weeks there. I really sorta felt like they were raising a barn down there, with all the drilling and hammering, and animals running back and forth, with me in my womanly place in the kitchen. God, I'm glad that's over!
So now every day he goes down there to set up his workspace, organize gear, jerk off... I honestly have no idea what he does down there actually. I will assume at any time, it's one of those three things. And now that he's got his man cave all set up, I've got the whole first floor to myself! Which is roughly about the amount of space I personally take up these days, so that's good.
Today, I finally ordered the crib and changing table/dresser. And this weekend hopefully we'll start getting Tyrone's room all set up! So exciting!
In exactly one month, I will be full term. WOWZA!
I gotta hand it to him. He works well under pressure, that's for sure.
For the past three weeks, my father-in-law would come over in the afternoon with his huge German Shepherd, Sheeba. And while Monty and Sheeba played (annoyed each other), V and his father would toil away: painting, spackling, tiling, drilling. In the meantime, I'd get home from work around 7pm, put on my dutiful housewife hat (steps: remove bra, rings, throw on extra large t-shirt stolen from hubs, gigantic pajama pants, put hair in ponytail), feed the dogs and cook the men awesome dinners consisting of giant slabs of meat, a potato of some sort, a veggie and salad if I was feeling ambitious. They'd eat around 8:30pm and then head right back down to keep working.
It was like Little House on the Prairie, Jersey City for a few weeks there. I really sorta felt like they were raising a barn down there, with all the drilling and hammering, and animals running back and forth, with me in my womanly place in the kitchen. God, I'm glad that's over!
So now every day he goes down there to set up his workspace, organize gear, jerk off... I honestly have no idea what he does down there actually. I will assume at any time, it's one of those three things. And now that he's got his man cave all set up, I've got the whole first floor to myself! Which is roughly about the amount of space I personally take up these days, so that's good.
Today, I finally ordered the crib and changing table/dresser. And this weekend hopefully we'll start getting Tyrone's room all set up! So exciting!
In exactly one month, I will be full term. WOWZA!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Naming the bump
Tyrone's got the hiccups.
I know this because my vagina is pulsing at regular intervals, and it's not the good kind -- if ya nah mean!
This is not going to be a post about vaginas, although I know that's what you were hoping for. Get your mind out of the gutter! It's not even going to be a post about what we're naming the baby. That's a SECRET so don't ask me.
In fact, I don't even know. I've left that part up to V. So there's a 99% chance it'll be one of these three names: Data, Jobs, or Lebowski.
Just kidding! I would never leave the naming up to him with no input! Why? Because then my son would be named Lebowski Bokser, that's why! Hullloooo!
So for the time being, we refer to the bump as Tyrone Jr. I've been calling him "Bubs" on this blog, but I'll let you in on the real secret: Come March, we might find out that his real father, Tyrone -- who is obviously a well-dressed African American man with a grabbable and scrumptiously bubbly ass -- got there before V.
Only time will tell...
In the meantime, can someone tell lil' Tyrone to stop waking up at 5:30 am to start dance practice? While I appreciate he'll take after his father in the rhythm department with all this clowning and krumping, it's getting to be a bit much.
I know this because my vagina is pulsing at regular intervals, and it's not the good kind -- if ya nah mean!
This is not going to be a post about vaginas, although I know that's what you were hoping for. Get your mind out of the gutter! It's not even going to be a post about what we're naming the baby. That's a SECRET so don't ask me.
In fact, I don't even know. I've left that part up to V. So there's a 99% chance it'll be one of these three names: Data, Jobs, or Lebowski.
Just kidding! I would never leave the naming up to him with no input! Why? Because then my son would be named Lebowski Bokser, that's why! Hullloooo!
So for the time being, we refer to the bump as Tyrone Jr. I've been calling him "Bubs" on this blog, but I'll let you in on the real secret: Come March, we might find out that his real father, Tyrone -- who is obviously a well-dressed African American man with a grabbable and scrumptiously bubbly ass -- got there before V.
Only time will tell...
In the meantime, can someone tell lil' Tyrone to stop waking up at 5:30 am to start dance practice? While I appreciate he'll take after his father in the rhythm department with all this clowning and krumping, it's getting to be a bit much.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Owning it.
I caught a glimpse of my unmade up, paradoxically greasy/dry face, reflected in the outside of my car window today while putting away groceries and was frightened by the person staring back at me. I actually stepped back a foot and cowered in horror. My mother would be ashamed.
I grew up in a smallish town. And when we went grocery shopping, my mom would make sure we had lipstick on and didn't look like dirty grunge hos just in case we ran into someone we knew. Going to the grocery store was kind of like going to church. A reason to dress up. Or at least dress nice. Not that I ever need an excuse to shop, but yeah, running errands actually made our clothes spending habits ok because I mean, how could we possibly go to Kessel in sweatpants? I think I must have peaked around 1996, looking put together all the time, fresh outfits and my hair all did. A message to the guys from high school: you really missed out on a hot POA back in the day.
Fast forward almost 20 years to today: Jersey City, NJ, A&P. The year two thousand and twelve. Today I wore a pair fleece-lined leggings that make my legs look like tree trunks, very warm tree trunks; a pair of dingy Uggs; THE big down parka (fat guy in a little coat), which I can only button the top two buttons of leaving my 2008 JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge t-shirt peeking out the bottom (yup, sounds about right. 2008 was probably the last time I went running). But what's worse is that my leggings aren't maternity leggings so I had them rolled down under the belly, and my t-shirt is a size x-small because in 2008 I was extra small. Today, I am not, so I have about an inch and a half of prego belly peeking out the bottom of the t-shirt.
Ahhh...glorious. If my mother could see me now!
Anyway, seeing my reflection in the window today made me think immediately how grateful I am that I live in a huge city outside of an even huger city, and no one I know lives around me. So frankly, I don't give a fuckity fuuuuck. :-)
Oh, and the best part! While I was in the freezer aisle, I sneezed. And I also peed my pants a little. So that was fun! At least it didn't run down these very absorbent leggings. Did I mention that they're lined with fleece? If the full trickle had made it to my Uggs I'd be in real trouble.
How do you even wash sheepskin?
I grew up in a smallish town. And when we went grocery shopping, my mom would make sure we had lipstick on and didn't look like dirty grunge hos just in case we ran into someone we knew. Going to the grocery store was kind of like going to church. A reason to dress up. Or at least dress nice. Not that I ever need an excuse to shop, but yeah, running errands actually made our clothes spending habits ok because I mean, how could we possibly go to Kessel in sweatpants? I think I must have peaked around 1996, looking put together all the time, fresh outfits and my hair all did. A message to the guys from high school: you really missed out on a hot POA back in the day.
Fast forward almost 20 years to today: Jersey City, NJ, A&P. The year two thousand and twelve. Today I wore a pair fleece-lined leggings that make my legs look like tree trunks, very warm tree trunks; a pair of dingy Uggs; THE big down parka (fat guy in a little coat), which I can only button the top two buttons of leaving my 2008 JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge t-shirt peeking out the bottom (yup, sounds about right. 2008 was probably the last time I went running). But what's worse is that my leggings aren't maternity leggings so I had them rolled down under the belly, and my t-shirt is a size x-small because in 2008 I was extra small. Today, I am not, so I have about an inch and a half of prego belly peeking out the bottom of the t-shirt.
Ahhh...glorious. If my mother could see me now!
Anyway, seeing my reflection in the window today made me think immediately how grateful I am that I live in a huge city outside of an even huger city, and no one I know lives around me. So frankly, I don't give a fuckity fuuuuck. :-)
Oh, and the best part! While I was in the freezer aisle, I sneezed. And I also peed my pants a little. So that was fun! At least it didn't run down these very absorbent leggings. Did I mention that they're lined with fleece? If the full trickle had made it to my Uggs I'd be in real trouble.
How do you even wash sheepskin?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A post so boring you may as well not read it.
UGH. This search for a pediatrician is killing me. It's not just that, but figuring out insurance for the bubs and then finding a pediatrician who will take that insurance...this is so annoying.
Did you know...
Insurance only covers the newborn for the amount of time they are in the hospital, which is based on whether they've delivered vaginally or via c-sec. So for vaginal, they're covered for 48 hours, and for c-sec, they're covered for 96 hours.
So basically you're forced to add them to your own insurance, which for me, is a very pretty penny. For most people this isn't an issue if they have a nice cushy corporate job, but I'm considering state insurance. So, if I want to switch them to, say, NJ Family Care which is only $144 a month, then I have to cancel one insurance and switch them to the other, which is a huge ordeal because Family Care will likely reject my application if the newborn currently has insurance. AND coverage doesn't happen immediately. Depends on whether or not you apply before the 15th or after. AND you can't apply before the baby is born...they need to have a birth certificate.
OMG. VENT!
So the other thing is that I really want to use Tribeca Pediatrics because they've just opened a branch in Jersey City, and it's a reputable practice with a bunch of Manhattan locations. But they don't take NJ Family Care. Hoboken Pediatrics does take that insurance, BUT...um...here's where I get really silly...the two doctors who run that practice are kind of scary looking. So, they're Polish, which I honestly don't mind at all, but they look really....um....harsh. Two burly male doctors. They could totally pass for V's uncles - lol! I know I shouldn't think this way, but you know how you just get a good feeling from some people and a not-so-good feeling from others just by looking at their faces? UM...YEAH.
Hmm... should I delete that last paragraph?
Did you know...
Insurance only covers the newborn for the amount of time they are in the hospital, which is based on whether they've delivered vaginally or via c-sec. So for vaginal, they're covered for 48 hours, and for c-sec, they're covered for 96 hours.
So basically you're forced to add them to your own insurance, which for me, is a very pretty penny. For most people this isn't an issue if they have a nice cushy corporate job, but I'm considering state insurance. So, if I want to switch them to, say, NJ Family Care which is only $144 a month, then I have to cancel one insurance and switch them to the other, which is a huge ordeal because Family Care will likely reject my application if the newborn currently has insurance. AND coverage doesn't happen immediately. Depends on whether or not you apply before the 15th or after. AND you can't apply before the baby is born...they need to have a birth certificate.
OMG. VENT!
So the other thing is that I really want to use Tribeca Pediatrics because they've just opened a branch in Jersey City, and it's a reputable practice with a bunch of Manhattan locations. But they don't take NJ Family Care. Hoboken Pediatrics does take that insurance, BUT...um...here's where I get really silly...the two doctors who run that practice are kind of scary looking. So, they're Polish, which I honestly don't mind at all, but they look really....um....harsh. Two burly male doctors. They could totally pass for V's uncles - lol! I know I shouldn't think this way, but you know how you just get a good feeling from some people and a not-so-good feeling from others just by looking at their faces? UM...YEAH.
Hmm... should I delete that last paragraph?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
What's he doing in there? And other in utero musings.
They say that a baby in utero sleeps 90% of the time. I don't think this is true for my little one. I feel him jabbing me and rolling over all day long and into the night. I wonder if he's uncomfortable and can't get into a comfy position because I have such a short torso. I was actually born with one very pigeon toed foot because my legs were squashed and I was born small, 2 months early! I hope my little guy has enough room to stretch out a little bit!
Sometimes I feel him jabbing my cervix, other times kicking my ribs. And all the time I feel little tickles on my right side. Everything is always on the right side. Very often I see a big rounded hard spot (probably a tooshie) taking over the middle/right part of my bump.
Which makes me wonder, what position is this baby in? Does he really have enough room to keep switching from breech to head down at this point? Whenever I press on the hard spot or the ticklish spot, I can feel him push back and then swim away. Maybe he has really long arms...or long fingers like all the Hwang girls. Hmmm....or active little feet like mine. At night before I go to bed, or when I'm relaxing on the couch, I am constantly rubbing my feet together, unconsciously. My mom says I did this as a baby and she always laughs when she sees me doing it now as an adult.
Also, I've started wondering if all this activity means that he's going to be a really active or fussy infant. Or a hyperactive toddler/child like I was.
So of course I googled it, and this is what I found. EEEP!!
In the first formal study of fetal temperament in 1996, DiPietro and her colleagues recorded the heart rate and movements of 31 fetuses six times before birth and compared them to readings taken twice after birth. (They've since extended their study to include 100 more fetuses.) Their findings: fetuses that are very active in the womb tend to be more irritable infants. Those with irregular sleep/wake patterns in the womb sleep more poorly as young infants.
Awww, hells to the no! Please don't let this be true. If he takes after his father in terms of his erratic sleep pattern, we are so screwed! Although the upside is that V never suffers from real insomnia and never has trouble falling asleep. He goes to sleep when he feels tired no matter what time, and stays asleep like a champ for at least 7 hours.
I wonder if I'll learn to breastfeed while sleeping. That way V, who will likely already be awake, can just hook him up to my boobie while I catch some zzz's. Heh. If only it were that easy...
I've also been thinking a lot about what he's going to look like. I could spend hours imagining his little face! The other night, I had a dream that I gave birth and his face was the perfect combination of me and V. But he was like...20 years old! With a little infant body but a young man's face. SO CREEPY! But it was a relief that he was pretty good looking. I'm even superficial in my dreams! Hehe.
Sometimes I feel him jabbing my cervix, other times kicking my ribs. And all the time I feel little tickles on my right side. Everything is always on the right side. Very often I see a big rounded hard spot (probably a tooshie) taking over the middle/right part of my bump.
Which makes me wonder, what position is this baby in? Does he really have enough room to keep switching from breech to head down at this point? Whenever I press on the hard spot or the ticklish spot, I can feel him push back and then swim away. Maybe he has really long arms...or long fingers like all the Hwang girls. Hmmm....or active little feet like mine. At night before I go to bed, or when I'm relaxing on the couch, I am constantly rubbing my feet together, unconsciously. My mom says I did this as a baby and she always laughs when she sees me doing it now as an adult.
Also, I've started wondering if all this activity means that he's going to be a really active or fussy infant. Or a hyperactive toddler/child like I was.
So of course I googled it, and this is what I found. EEEP!!
In the first formal study of fetal temperament in 1996, DiPietro and her colleagues recorded the heart rate and movements of 31 fetuses six times before birth and compared them to readings taken twice after birth. (They've since extended their study to include 100 more fetuses.) Their findings: fetuses that are very active in the womb tend to be more irritable infants. Those with irregular sleep/wake patterns in the womb sleep more poorly as young infants.
Awww, hells to the no! Please don't let this be true. If he takes after his father in terms of his erratic sleep pattern, we are so screwed! Although the upside is that V never suffers from real insomnia and never has trouble falling asleep. He goes to sleep when he feels tired no matter what time, and stays asleep like a champ for at least 7 hours.
I wonder if I'll learn to breastfeed while sleeping. That way V, who will likely already be awake, can just hook him up to my boobie while I catch some zzz's. Heh. If only it were that easy...
I've also been thinking a lot about what he's going to look like. I could spend hours imagining his little face! The other night, I had a dream that I gave birth and his face was the perfect combination of me and V. But he was like...20 years old! With a little infant body but a young man's face. SO CREEPY! But it was a relief that he was pretty good looking. I'm even superficial in my dreams! Hehe.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges
I guess I am officially B.I.G. because I got offered a seat on the subway two days in a row. And the second time, I was all the way by the door not trying obtrusively to shove the bump in the face of someone seated, but a nice girl literally waved me down trying to make eye contact and coaxed me over. I told her I was ok, but I was really so very grateful for her offer and definitely wanted her seat, and she insisted anyway, so I took it. I don't like taking people's seats, I feel like an asshole.
Especially because without fail, the only people who offer seats are women. What is wrong with men these days? I even had a lady with a cast on her foot offer me a seat when I was only around 25 weeks - so not really needing it, per se. For the record, I didn't take that one. I gots ethics, dood.
Anyway, I'm under no delusions. I am a big. ol. pregnant. woman.
OR...fat guy in a little coat!
A few other changes I've noticed in the past few weeks since I've entered third trimester:
Especially because without fail, the only people who offer seats are women. What is wrong with men these days? I even had a lady with a cast on her foot offer me a seat when I was only around 25 weeks - so not really needing it, per se. For the record, I didn't take that one. I gots ethics, dood.
Anyway, I'm under no delusions. I am a big. ol. pregnant. woman.
OR...fat guy in a little coat!
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| Chris Farley (left); Me (right) |
A few other changes I've noticed in the past few weeks since I've entered third trimester:
- That dark line that runs from top to bottom of the belly called the linea negra has appeared.
- Belly button went from flat to outtie.
- That leg hair that stopped growing in 2nd tri has come back with a vengeance.
- It's getting harder to find a comfortable position to sleep in.
- Bub's movements are huge! It used to be that you had to put a hand on the belly to feel the kicks but now I just sit there an watch it shake and roll back and forth. So alien!
- First trimester fatigue is back. Boo.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Cute overload
Ok, so y'all know I'm a sucker for cute things. I have a hamster and a fuzzy little dog. I scour Youtube for videos featuring small animals, I love me some Sanrio, and waaaaay back in my 20s I rocked the little anime girl look every now and again. But I never really planned on dressing my little boy up in overly cutesy items because I want him to look more uh...what's the right word..."hip"? Blech. Just using that word ages a person. I'm officially old and totally uncool, dood.
Anyway, I'm gonna dress him up FRESH, yo.
Except when he wears these!
I just couldn't help myself...
Lucky for him, they have an expiration date and probably won't fit after 3 or 4 months.
Anyway, I'm gonna dress him up FRESH, yo.
Except when he wears these!
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| From Etsy: Prettylittle |
Lucky for him, they have an expiration date and probably won't fit after 3 or 4 months.
Bump Watch: Happy New Year 2012! 30 weeks
How insane is it that it's the year Two Thousand and Twelve?!
Over the break, we watched the Back to the Future Trilogy and when they go into the future in the second movie, they go to the year 2015 and there are flying cars and hovercrafts and the '80s was really historic. Funny to think we're only 3 years away from a life that we had imagined would be so very different from the present. And let's face it, we're kind of reliving the '80s -- at least as a fashion moment.
Anyway, I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep today, and I think I'm coming down with a cold so I'm gonna make this brief because my brain is mush. It's gonna take a while to recover from all that relaxing I did over break!
Over the break, we watched the Back to the Future Trilogy and when they go into the future in the second movie, they go to the year 2015 and there are flying cars and hovercrafts and the '80s was really historic. Funny to think we're only 3 years away from a life that we had imagined would be so very different from the present. And let's face it, we're kind of reliving the '80s -- at least as a fashion moment.
Anyway, I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep today, and I think I'm coming down with a cold so I'm gonna make this brief because my brain is mush. It's gonna take a while to recover from all that relaxing I did over break!
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| whoa! look at the difference from 28 to 29! bubs had a growth spurt! |
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