On Saturday, October 22, 2011 - 19 weeks

We took a tour of the hospital where I'd like to give birth:  Morristown Memorial in New Jersey.

Deciding on a hospital was a serious task.  Although most hospitals in the Manhattan are closer to us, I have been so wary of their interventionist attitudes and medicalized approach to the birthing process.  The more I read, studied, and watched, the more I realized I want to give birth free of medication or pain relief.  My reasons are many, but here are just a few:

First, one intervention often leads to a cascade of more.  For example, say your labor isn't progressing at the speed that your OB would prefer (to get home at a decent hour).  After 12 hours, they'll usually start you on pitocin to induce labor contractions.  The problem is that this synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin can often kick in so strong that contractions are WAY more intense than they would be if you'd been allowed to progress naturally.  And because the pain is so much worse, and epidural is almost inevitable.  So once you have an epidural, you can't feel your legs.  Which also means that you can't get up and walk around, or squat, or bounce on a birthing ball -- all things that help the progression of labor.  You're stuck laying down in a reclined position that puts your pelvis in a very narrow position -- not ideal for shooting out a watermelon -- don'tcha think?

One of the best positions that opens up the pelvis is to be on your hands and knees, but you can't really do that if  you can't feel your legs and you're hooked up to a bunch of tubes and IVs.

Second, the natural hormones that rush through a woman's body seconds after giving birth immediately connect both mom and baby.  I've heard it said that it's like a "love cocktail."  And the mom is higher than she's ever felt.  I'm not saying that women who have pain medication don't feel connected to their child, but I don't want to prevent the natural process.  Also, once you give birth, the oxytocin gets flowing and stimulates milk flow, which is another process I don't want to even possibly interrupt.

Ok, and let's really be honest, I'd like to experience the high.  I don't want to screw myself out of that!

Third, when you have an epidural, the baby does experience it and I don't want my kid starting out drugged up in his first minutes of life if I can prevent it.  I know there aren't long term effects, but I want him to be alert and with it so he'll latch properly.  I just want to provide my baby with the best possible start in life.  I think it'll be easier on all of us (after he's out, of course).

So, back to Morristown.  I found a lovely group of midwives that practices out of Morristown, and the hospital is wonderful.  The staff has dealt with many natural births, unlike staffs at hospitals in the city, and they have birthing tubs in 3 rooms, birthing balls, and are open to a lot of the more natural, holistic ideas around birth.  Most importantly, they have a level III NICU in case anything goes wrong - God forbid!

After our hospital tour, we interviewed a doula that I had been emailing with.  She was wonderful.  We talked to Kim for around 2 hours and afterward V and I were in absolute agreement that we wanted her to be our doula.  I was shocked that I didn't have to make a case for her -- I usually need to with V -- but he just kind of got it.  We both got good vibes and knew she was incredibly experienced and would be able to help me through labor in the way that I want.